How Much is Too Much When Sharing Things With Others?


Communicating can be hard for anyone. But when you're autistic or have ADHD, it can be even harder — especially when it comes to knowing how much to share. Today, I want to talk about a topic that’s tricky for many neurodivergent people (myself included): oversharing.

Oversharing is when we share too much personal information without realizing it might be overwhelming or out of place. For people who struggle to read social cues, it’s easy to get caught up in our excitement, passion, or even anxiety, and accidentally go on a 15-minute monologue about our life story — even to a complete stranger. I've been there before!

When we meet someone new, we might want to connect so badly that we end up saying everything, hoping to bond with that person. But here's the thing, sometimes less is more. Giving people space to learn about us slowly helps build trust, curiosity, and mutual comfort. You don’t have to share everything at once for someone to like you.

So how can we manage oversharing without shutting ourselves down completely?

My mom once gave me great advice as a kid: when you are tempted to overshare, try to condense your stories as much as you can. Take a 5-minute explanation and practice summarizing it in 1–2 minutes. That way, you're still being you — just in a more mindful and socially appropriate way.

Here are a few questions that help me when I’m unsure:

  • Is this the right time and place to share this?

  • How much do I feel okay sharing with this person?

  • Am I sharing because I want connection — or is it because I’m anxious or nervous?

It’s also important to build boundaries when we socialize, even with strangers. This is where scripting can help. Practice different ways of telling the same story, and pay attention to body language — like someone looking away or shifting their feet — as signs they may be ready to move on. You can always say, “I’ll tell you the rest another time!” and give them a part two later.

And one last thing — for people who aren’t neurodivergent:
👉 PLEASE be patient with us.
We’re learning. We DO care. We also want to connect and long to do so — we might do it differently than you.

What are some ways YOU can avoid oversharing?

 

If you liked this blog post, PLEASE comment down below what your favorite part was, share with your friends and family, etc.  Have any comments, questions, etc. about what you were reading? Reach out to me by messaging me on Instagram or TikTok @neurospicyblondie or email me  alyssa.onthespectrum@gmail.com.  


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

What Can I Control?

Image
  What is control?  The  psychology definition of the word control is a person's ability or perception of their ability to affect themselves, others, their conditions, their environment or some other circumstance. Control over oneself or others can extend to the regulation of emotions, thoughts, actions, impulses, memory, attention or experiences.   As an autistic individual, control can be a hard concept to manage.  Here's the thing, we have a realm of what we can and can't control.  Think of reacting to your emotions like reacting to the weather, but with a proper balance.  I don't like the snow, especially when it is dangerous.  I can't control how much or when it snows outside.  HOWEVER, I can control how I react to the snow.  I can be mad OR I can be prepared.  I can go out wearing shorts and a tank top and risk freezing my butt off OR I can wear my warmest set of clothes so I can regulate the warmth in my body that the w...
Read more

Being a Friend vs. Being Friendly: A Neurodivergent Struggle

Image
  Have you ever met someone and thought "oh, they're being nice to me! I should be their friend, and have it not work out?"  Honestly, same.  Being autistic and neurodiverse, it can be hard to identify if I should be friends with someone or friendly.  Here's a little secret I've learned in the 27 years of my life: it is OKAY to not be friends with EVERYBODY!! --sometimes, people aren't looking to make friends or they're not interested in being friends with you and  THAT'S OKAY !!   As much as we want to be friends with everyone, this isn't possible.  Seems rude, but sometimes if we push ourselves to be friends with people, it's not going to be in our favor.   What we can do, is be NICE  to others or just be friendly to them.  This doesn't mean we're best friends.  It just means we are respectful and kind to them. But Alyssa! How can I tell if someone is being my friend or not? Good question! I'm glad you asked!  Sometimes,...
Read more

💤 Why Neurodivergent Brains Struggle With Sleep (And What Might Help)💤

Image
  It's time for bed!  You get in your pajamas, brush your teeth, shower, and do whatever you have to do before you crawl into bed.  You get into your comfy sheets and lay your head down on your pillow to rest. There's only one problem with this...you can't!  Your mind is going 90 miles per hour.  You have to sleep!  It's past midnight and you have to get up in less than 6 hours.  You spent time you should've been winding down and relaxing watching TikToks/Reels, doom scrolling, binge watching a new show, watching a movie, etc.  You can't seem to close your eyes or even relax your body...  This is a common challenge people with any neurodiversity face.   Getting to sleep can be HARD, falling asleep can be HARDER.   When trying to fall asleep, neurodivergent individuals are often challenged with sensory sensitivities, anxiety, and irregular sleep-wake cycles. In this post, we'll explore why sleep can be elusive for neur...
Read more