The Difficulty Of Adult Relationships + Being Autistic

 

I stated a couple days ago that I was dry on topics to write about.  Today, that changed a bit.  I have been contemplating on what to write about for the last couple of days.  I have had the unfortunate chance of being faced with a difficult moment in one of my relationships with one of my friends.  This caused me to think about the complexity of being an adult and having autism and how those come into play.  

When you have a disability and that disability is autism, you have the typical social and communication challenges.  Now, add the complexity of being an adult.  Everyone knows that when you're an adult, you go through different kinds of relationships such as romantic and platonic.  This is a normal concept. 

I'll say this: I've never been in a romantic relationship at all.  I've only been on three dates.  My last date was January 2019.  I've been single my whole life (27-1/2 years).

That being said, I've gone through my fair share of crushes.  I'm not going to sugar coat it, those were some of the hardest moments of my romantic/dating life thus far.  I've been asked out then ghosted or told that they weren't ready for a relationship.  I cried.  Felt like a failure. 

When you're a young adult, you're going to go through so many heartbreaks with friends and significant others.  I've had many friends from my childhood stop talking to me and it's been years since I've talked to them.  I've learned that it's not me, it's them or both of us growing apart.  That's normal too.  It's not easy, it's definitely hard.  

Now, when assessing where you are in relationships comes into the picture it can be a pain too.  Being autistic, your emotions can come out to play full swing or you look like you're feeling nothing at all.  I've discovered recently that when you're autistic, you tend to gravitate towards someone or something that is a possibility.  However, this can be good or bad depending on the situation.  When feelings or attractions aren't reciprocated, that's when it gets tricky.  Where do you stand in the relationship?  Can you deal with them not liking you back at all?  It's hard.  Believe me, it's hard.  Especially for both parties.  In the end, you don't want either person to be lead on.  

My favorite television show, FRIENDS (1994-2004), is all about the relationship changes and process that adults can and will go through during adulthood.  I included a music video of the theme song.  If you're ever doubting your relationships with anyone, think about the ones who would "be there for you when the rain starts to pour". 

 If you liked this blog post, PLEASE comment down below on what your favorite part was, and feel free to share it with your friends and family, etc.  Have any comments, questions, etc. about what you were reading? Reach out to me by messaging me on Instagram or TikTok @neurospicyblondie or email me  alyssa.onthespectrum@gmail.com.