Honor your Identity as a NeuroSpicy Individual

 

"Today is when your book begins.  The rest is still unwritten."--"Unwritten", song sung by Natasha Beddingfield (2004)

Mental health, a broad concept.  When we think about it, mental health is all about caring for our mind.  There's a lot to it: self-worth, self-care, self-esteem, etc.  Today, I want to focus on self-identity. Our self-identity is how we define and identify ourselves.

I know a lot of people struggle with their identity.  It's normal.  In his stages of development, psychologist Erik Erickson shares that adolescents ages 12-18 go through identity crises. That being said, it's normal to feel like you don't know who you are as a person.  Now, being autistic can bring challenges with a person's identity.  Why?  It's hard to fit in or to even try to at times.  

It's normal for people to mask their mental health by conforming to society by "copying" the people around you and their behaviors.  Some people with autism, when masking their autism will do this, but I recently discovered that sometimes people on the autism spectrum will mask their autistic traits by unintentionally behaving and acting like those around them.  This is called Chameleon Effect.   Can it be used ineffectively? Yes!  I know some people in the program that I am in who do this in an unhealthy way.  It's made it so that no one wants to be around them because they got used to unintentionally mimicking people who were not socially healthy people to be around.  I will say this, I feel like I am a social chameleon when I try to mask depending on who I am with.  I used to it a lot in grade school and looking back, it's sometimes how I was able to pass some of my classes.   


If you or anyone you know are struggling with your identity, know that we have two kinds: social and personal.  Our social identity is who we are based on the groups we interact with like school, hobbies, our social class.  Our personal/self-identity is the traits and other characteristics that we have that makes us unique.

Here are 11 ways you can help yourself or someone else who is struggling with self-identity:
  1. Journal your feelings everyday.
  2. Express yourself.
  3. Find/follow people such as uplifting neurodivergent content creators that use #s like #ActuallyAutistic on Instagram or TikTok.
  4. Practice self-compassion.---Treat yourself the same way you'd treat a friend.
  5. Positive Affirmations---saying things like:"I can do hard things..." and/or "I am enough"
  6. Celebrate Small Victories---acknowledge that any progress is good progress.
  7. Challenge Negative Thoughts/Self-Talk---weaken your inner demons.
  8. Set Boundaries and Prioritize Your Needs---limit your social media consumption in order to reduce comparison and focus on the positive and meaningful offline connections in your life.
  9. Engage in Meaningful Activities---spend your time doing hobbies and special interests which offer a sense of accomplishment, identity, and well-being.  Physical activity such as going to the gym, walking, karate, or dance helps support both mood and self-image.
  10. Cultivate Supportive Connections---Surround yourself with people who are accepting and understanding of you.  Good relationships=good/positive self-worth.
  11. Care for Your Body & Mind---NEST (Nutrition, Exercise, Sleep, & Time) for yourself. 
What are some other ways you can take care of yourself as you discover your own identity?  Comment below.
    


If you liked this blog post, PLEASE comment down below what your favorite part was, share with your friends and family, etc.  Have any comments, questions, etc. about what you were reading? Reach out to me by messaging me on Instagram or TikTok @neurospicyblondie or email me  alyssa.onthespectrum@gmail.com.  


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