Unhook the Unwanted Thoughts


 

"Your friends don't like you!" "You're too fat!" "I am embarrassing myself." "No one likes me." 
All things we've told ourselves, right!?!  The thing is, with being neurodivergent, especially having autism (or AuDHD), you tend to fixate on negative thoughts for a while.  That's not healthy!  Mental health is hard enough on people and sometimes we just need to teach our brains, "thank you but I need to move on."  Sometimes, it can be hard to forget or let go of our negative thoughts.  This is where unhooking comes in.

In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), we focus on our values and if we are experiencing a thought that is not within our towards area, we have to leave it alone and move away from it.  It's hard, but sometimes we have to let it go or we can't grow.

In her book, Self Care for Autistic People (2024), Dr. Megan Anna Neff (p.124-125) talks about 8 ways we can unhook from painful thoughts:

  1. Thought Labeling: this is like saying "I'm noticing I'm having _________  thought", which helps you to distance yourself from the thought and see it for what it is.
  2. Silly Songs: Put you negative thoughts into a silly song like the Happy Birthday song or nursery rhyme.  (I had a friend in grade school that told me whenever she had an unwanted inappropriate thought come into her head, she would sing "AllStar" by Smash Mouth and it would send the thought away.)
  3. Cloud Visualization: imagine your thought as a cloud, train, car passing boy or a leaf floating down the stream.  Watch it go away without holding onto it.
  4. Mindful Observation: observe and describe the details of your thought like how you would observe a painting by noticing the colors, shapes, and patterns.
  5. Thanking Your Mind: "thank you brain for thinking about this thought and trying to take care of me, but I'm okay for now" doing something like this lets your brain know that you're okay and it doesn't need to protect you and you've got these things covered for now.
  6. Breathing and Releasing: Breathe in = recognizing the painful thought.  Breathe out = you're releasing the thought.
  7. Thought Sculpting: Treat your thought how a sculptor would with clay.
  8. Gratitude Ritual: Name the things you are grateful for to re-direct your positivity.  (growing up, my mom would do this with me all of the time.  If I had a bad day, she would have me think of 5 positive things that happened.  It helped a ton.)
I want to include a final religious/spiritual option: Praying to your higher power.  If you believe in Gods or a God and asking to help relieve your thoughts, I would recommend doing so.

Below are some videos on how you can unhook those nasty negative thoughts:



What are some ways you unhook from the negative?? Feel free to share!
That's it for me today! Have a great weekend!  

If you liked this blog post, PLEASE comment down below what your favorite part was, share with your friends and family, etc.  Have any comments, questions, etc. about what you were reading? Reach out to me by messaging me on Instagram or TikTok @neurospicyblondie or email me  alyssa.onthespectrum@gmail.com.  




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