Routines & Me

 Get up for the day, stretch, get dressed, eat breakfast, walk the dog, go to work, come home, make dinner, watch some TV. read a book, go to bed.  That's a routine, right!?  Routine.  A word that is common for many autistics of any part of the spectrum.  The word, routine is defined as a regular series of events/activities that one has in their schedule.

Routine can look different for an individual on the autism spectrum.  For me, my schedule depends on what I have going on that day/week.   I try my best to be productive given the circumstances with how my brain operates.  I've come a long way with myself.  Sometimes it can be hard to motivate myself, but if I let the part of my brain that wants motivation to win, I will never succeed.  Yes, motivation isn't bad, but if it's the only way you are able to get out of bed or be productive, it isn't the best mindset. 

Autism Acceptance Day

It's April 2nd, 2024!

You can say it is important or unimportant to celebrate something as momentous as having a disability!  For people on the autism spectrum, it can be hard to learn how to cope with their autism.  Having a day to say, "I have a day where I can celebrate me as well as people like me!"   

Here's the thing! Some people on the spectrum aren't really comfortable with sharing their diagnosis with others.  Some are!  It depends on where you are at.  Another thing too, is many times when you have someone with autism, there tends to be people who are unaware of their autism or unaware of how they can help accommodate for their needs with being on the spectrum.

Okay, okay!  You might be reading this and asking or wondering this, "well, what if I don't necessarily know all about autism?"  I will tell you this, informing yourself about what autism is and the history behind the diagnosis can help a lot.

What you need to know is that in 1943, Austrian-American psychologist, Leo Kanner did a study on 11 children who showed unique behavioral patterns.  One of them being none other than Donald Triplett (1933-2023).  Donald Triplett was the FIRST PERSON DIAGNOSED ON THE AUTISM SPECTRUM IN 1943.  You can say, "Alyssa, autism has been around longer than 1943".  While you're right about that, the first DIAGNOSIS was in 1943.  While there's most likely been people in the past history of the world who have had autism, we were able to "categorize" and kind of label these kinds of behaviors in individuals.  This can be like diagnosing someone with ADHD or someone who has problems with hearing or walking.  In my experience, labeling yourself in a healthy way can help you learn more about yourself and become self-aware.  Learning about autism and how BROAD and diverse it is and can be, has helped me to be able to learn about myself as well as learning about how I can see some of my behavioral and social patterns in others on the spectrum that I communicate with.

Since autism is fairly new, there tends to be a challenge in diagnosing females. The first female who received a diagnosis (and someone whom I would LOVE to meet one day) is Temple Grandin (b. 1947).  She was first diagnosed at the age of 4 after receiving word that she had "brain damage" at the age of 2.  Temple is a living legend for people on the autism spectrum. She still advocates today for autism rights.

What is Neurodiversity? A Super Power?

What is neurodiversity?  To me, being neurodiverse means that my brain is wired differently.  What a lot of people do not know, is that disorders such as: ADHD, dyslexia, Autism Spectrum Disorder, dyspraxia, dyscalculia, and Tourette's Syndrome are part of an umbrella term of neurodiversity.  Many people associate these "disabilities" as struggles, but that's not how I see it.  

Person #1 has ADHD and has challenges with focusing on daily tasks.  Where as person #2 who was diagnosed with autism, struggles with communicating their thoughts and feelings with others.  The people who know person #1, share that person #1 has a lot of energy whenever they are with person #1.  The people who know person #2, share that person #2 knows a lot of information about the history of art.  While person 1 & 2 have challenges and struggles that prevent them from living "normal" lives, they have strengths that others that they know have seen in them.  These are like their superpowers.  Take Spider-Man for example (very common example, I know).  Spider-Man has strengths such as climbing up walls, swinging from building-to-building, and using his spidey sense.  He also struggles with losing people he loves, which can be considered as a weakness.

Autism in Neurodiversity: The Super Power

Most of the time, people who are neurodiverse don't "look" the way that their "disability" is perceived by others.  Up until I was diagnosed with autism, I was told that I didn't present the standard autism behavior.  I can make eye contact, I can interact with people and hold decent conversations, and my interests were considered to be "normal".  The term "autism" hasn't been around for long.  The first time the word "autism" was recognized in 1943, but was not mentioned as a diagnosis in the first two versions of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM).  The DSM-III defined "autism" as a "pervasive developmental disorder".  The DSM-IV (1994) designated 3 domains of autism: social interaction, communication, and restricted repetitive and stereotyped patterns of behavior, interests, and/or activities.  The DSM-5, which was published in 2013, changed the domains from three to two.  It combined social interaction and communication with one another.  

 

The DSM-5 also stated that there are 3 levels of autism.  The graphic below discusses the three levels.

If you are reading this and you are either on the Autism Spectrum OR have yet to be diagnosed, I encourage you to take action.  Learn more about yourself AND how being diagnosed can benefit you as well as the interactions you have with those around you!

Until next time, bye!

The Challenge of Dating on the Spectrum

 Love on the Spectrum: A Show That Showcases Autism and Finding Romantic Partners

Has anyone seen this amazing show Love on the Spectrum: US or Australia on Netflix?  Don't know what it's about?  Well, in a nutshell, it is about a journey of adults on the Autism Spectrum and their experiences with dating and/or dealing with being in relationships.  I have been watching this show with my dad for a month now.  We were able to binge the U.S. version all the way through and now, we are on he Australian version.  

Why is this show important to me as well as other adults with ASD?  It showcases adults on the spectrum who are at different places in life and with their autisms.  It shows that no matter how "severe" your autism diagnosis is, you can still find love.  

If you have not seen it, I HIGHLY recommend watching it!  In the U.S. version, the autism expert that they use, wrote the book Autism in Heels that I started reading last year and finished recently.  Her name is Jennifer Cook.  She was diagnosed with ASD as an adult in her 30s in 2013(?) (sorry Jennifer if you are reading this and I got this information wrong!).  She helped the people on the show get over hurdles and talk about the challenges that they face when it comes to dating with ASD.  She gives GOOD advice to those on the show and it helped me gain confidence with my autism.

Above, is a trailer for Love on the Spectrum: U.S.(Netflix).  Feel free to watch the trailer.

Challenges of Dating & Being on the Autism Spectrum

What did Love on the Spectrum(Netflix) have to do with the blog?  Well, being an adult with ASD with friends who are also on the spectrum, forming relationships of any kind, can be challenging.  When you are autistic, it is common to have challenges with social communication as well as social interactions.  

I've found that a lot of the times in my life, I have struggled with boundaries and knowing what information is too much to share or what I need to share.  

A lot of people on the spectrum also have the struggle of knowing how to place people in their lives and what boundaries they need to set/respect with those they interact with.  The above video mentions the "relationship onion tool".  

Now, being on the spectrum and being an adult can be challenging.  Especially with dating.  Around 50% of all adults with autism live with a member of their family. "Old research shows that about 5% of autistic adults are married or have been married in the past. 9% of autistic adults are married, while 32% have a romantic partner" (DiscoveryABA).  32% is a low number for people on the spectrum who are dating or have a romantic partner.  These numbers are surprisingly low and should be changed eventually.