Can I BE Any More Depressed? A Special Interest Tribute to Matthew Perry

 “I’m hopeless, and awkward, and desperate for love!” (Matthew Perry/Chandler Bing, 1994-2004).  One of my absolute favorite quotes from Matthew Perry who played the beloved Chandler Bing on the hit 90’s sitcom Friends (1994-2004).  Anyone who knows me, knows that my comfort show since 2012 has been the show Friends (1994-2004) and the characters that I relate to the most right now are, Chandler Bing and Phoebe Buffay, played by Matthew Perry and Lisa Kudrow.  If you have been up to date on the news this past week (October 23-29), you know that there is a war going on in Israel, there was a mass shooting in Lewiston, Maine, and by the way Matthew Perry suddenly passed away Saturday October 28th at the age of 54.  As devastating as the other top stories in the news from this last week are, the news of the sudden passing of Matthew Perry hit me the most.

Being on the spectrum, like I talked about for FanX, you might have a hyperfixation (or more).  I’ve been hyper fixated on Friends (1994-2004) for the longest time.  I was born halfway through the show’s run on television, and my parents were the same age as the characters on the show when it was airing.  Which means, they were almost going through the same things as the characters on the show were.  If you don’t know what it is about, the show Friends (1994-2004) was on the air for ten seasons.  It aired on NBC as part of their “must-see-TV” on Thursday nights.  It takes place in New York City, New York, and is about six friends who are in their mid-twenties who are in the stage of life where your friends are like your family.  The show ends when the cast is in their thirties and moving on with their separate lives.  As you can tell, I am passionate about this show.  I could go on and on about what this show is about without spoiling anything.  To prove how much of a fan I am and how much this show means to me, I did a psychology assignment on this show using the psychologist Erik Erikson’s developmental stage of intimacy v. isolation (which is a stage of development that takes place during your early adult life).  As someone who is where they were in the first season with trying to figure things out, it has become more relevant to me as I get older.  I remember vaguely watching parts of the last 

season of the show with my mom as it was airing on TV.  I was about six-years-old when the show ended, but again, I remembered watching parts of the last season with my mom. 

If you have experienced the death of a loved one, you know that grief is hard and different for each person.  I will say that each relationship I’ve had that’s no longer alive, I have grieved differently than the person before that.  For example, I knew that my mom’s mom (aka my Mema) was dying and the emotions were almost like depression and acceptance, but sometimes since she’s been gone for so long, I will feel denial and depression and will find myself uncontrollably crying.  When my Grandma Collier passed away, I was in shock.  I wasn’t expecting her to pass away so suddenly.  I remember talking to my aunt on the phone and sobbing so hard that my makeup came off.  When I found out that Matthew Perry died, my friend texted me in caps that he died and I wanted to make sure that she was right.  She was.  Three different entertainment news outlets had posted the news. Mortified. Shocked. Heartbroken.  No words could come out of my mouth to express how I felt. He is between my mom and dad’s ages.  He was only 54-years-old when he died.  If you do not know about his sad life, I would read articles about it or even his memoir that he released in 2022 about his drug addiction.  

I know I don’t know Matthew Perry personally, but his character Chandler Bing, was one of my favorite characters on the show and it really hit home when I found out that he died.  I don’t know if it’s the neurodiverse part of me that is reacting this way or what, but it was how I reacted.  Now, less than 24-hours after news broke on the matter, I am still in shock and on the verge of tears.  Rest in peace Matthew Perry.  Thanks for all the years of laughter and joy you brought to this world.  I know I didn’t know you, but your character Chandler was a relatable character who you brought to life.  Thank you again Mr. Perry.  Your legacy will live on.

Mental Health & The Spectrum

Have you ever had a day where you feel like you are just too unmotivated to do anything? Mental health can do that to you. For years, society has been known to keep issues like mental health on the down low by basically ignoring it. We as humans are born with basic emotions. As we grow, develop, and become a member of society, those emotions grow and develop too. We also have some emotions that become an additional part of our lives as we go through different kinds of experiences. We are all born with different areas of health in our lives, such as: our physical health (the part of our health that has to do with our physical bodies like what we eat, our looks, our heart health, etc.), our spiritual health (the part of our health that we use to connect to whatever higher power we believe in and how we practice those beliefs through prayer, meditation, etc.), our sexual health (this is the part of our health that involves our reproductive organs and how we take care of them–even if we aren’t active), and our mental health (which is the part of our health that involves our brains, how we see ourselves/our self-esteem, etc.). Today, is all about mental health and being on the autism spectrum.

We all have different ways on how we deal with mental health. At some point or another, we have all gone through situations that trigger our mental health in some way. Personally, I believe that mental health is the number one aspect of our health that we need to be better at. In today’s world, it is hard to find someone’s life that isn’t our own and be jealous of it. Whether it be where the individual is at or if they are looking extra beautiful in that photo or video that was posted. A lot of people view social media as a negative effect on mental health. I won’t get too much into my beliefs on this, but in a nutshell, I would have to say as much as some of that is true there are positive aspects to social media. We all experience mental health differently. Two of the most common mental health “emotions” we deal with are anxiety and depression. If you have never felt anxious in your life, you are one lucky person. Anxiety is the fear of the unknown. Depression is the negative way(s) we feel about a certain situation or aspect of our life. As someone who is on the autism spectrum, who processes and deals with emotions differently than someone who is neurotypical, anxiety and depression are two things that I have struggled with tremendously for a long time now.
Being autistic or being neurodiverse can greatly impact how someone experiences mental health challenges. I know people who are on the autism spectrum, who will have moments where they seem fine and then anxiety and depression hit and they’re showing a different side of themselves. I have been known to be one of those people. It can be hard. Why? Because when I am doing great mentally, I show my outgoing and friendly side. When I am struggling, I act shy and distance myself. Lately, this has been what I’ve been doing, which isn’t the best, but we can’t always have every day be full of rainbows and butterflies.

 
Again, why is mental health important? When you’re going through a depressive episode, it feels like you’re in a dark room or you’re dealing with a bad rainstorm where it can be a struggle to see the light at the end of it or even the rainbow. 

 

If you are struggling with a bad episode of mental health, call 988 to talk to the Suicide Prevention hotline (especially if you are SEVERELY suicidal), talk to a friend (or more) that you can trust to be vulnerable with, write down your thoughts in a journal, meditate, make sure you are eating healthy, and/or get an appointment to see a therapist.